2020 Election: Ernie Needs Your Help!

An Important Announcement From Ernie

Hello,

It is Ernie Flanders and I am once again asking for your support. I will be honest, we are in trouble. Our movement is in danger of failing and we are falling behind the competition. Who could have guessed that a perfect candidate with a perfect plan could face this much resistance from voters? I know this is not how we expected the campaign to unfold, but my mission is not over. This is just the beginning.

I am running for President to ensure that fair and equal treatment is given to all American citizens. I have been campaigning as a Democrat but my message transcends party lines and is hindered by them. That is why I have made the decision to run as an Independent against Donald Trump and the eventual Democratic nominee.

Running as a third-party candidate was not an easy decision. Most often, third-party candidates are viewed as election spoilers drawing votes away from other candidates. That will not be the case this election because my movement will soon have the momentum to surpass any candidate. With your support we will get to the White House.

The State of the Election

Even though we have faced defeat in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, South Carolina, Alabama, American Samoa, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Washington, Arizona, Florida, Illinois, Ohio, and Georgia, I won the entire state of Idaho during the Democratic primary.

This came as no surprise because I spent most of my time campaigning in the state of Idaho. The plan was quite simple. It is easier to win a small state because there are fewer people.

While my opponents were unwisely campaigning in Iowa, New York, and Florida, I spent my time swaying the whole state of Idaho. My strategy was flawless and perfectly executed. I thought it would be bigger news that I had won a whole state and that the other states would follow suit. Sadly, I was wrong.

Despite these setbacks, our campaign is on course for the White House. Donations have been pouring in from around the country and your financial support has not gone unnoticed. My campaign has so much funding that Joe Biden and Donald Trump should drop out of the race because they don’t have enough money to compete. I will not disclose the amount because that would just give my opponents more information. You can trust me.

The news of Bernie Sanders ending his presidential campaign means that we are still outlasting our competition. The year 2020 will be the year of Ernie as my campaign continues to grow. If only Donald Trump and Joe Biden would also drop out then they would make this campaign a lot easier.

The most challenging aspect of this election has been my position in the polls. The pollsters and the media say that I am not a viable candidate, but the truth is that they just aren't polling enough people who like me.

The solution is simple: start polling more people who support me and my true levels of support will be displayed. I know plenty of people who like me if the pollsters need people to survey.

My announcement to run as an Independent has prompted me to take my campaign closer to the people. In preparation for the general election, I will be visiting every state on a 60 day national bus tour to spread my message. This will include rallies, special appearances, and town hall events where I can continue to connect with voters.

Since I do not have a big tour bus like Joe Biden, I will be touring in my own car. If you see a Volkswagen station wagon with some rust on the roof and my campaign stickers on the doors and hood, it's me.

Photo Illustration by Sarah Rogers/The Daily Beast/Photos Getty

How You Can Help Ernie

Winning the White House won’t be easy but here are the ways you can make sure we get there:

• Donate some or all of your money- It’s simple. Campaigns need money to operate. If all of my supporters donated 100 percent of their income to my campaign, then we would definitely win. When we win the White House, my policies will make sure that you never need money again so this is a good investment. Donate on my website to make this a reality.

• Pay for gas money- My car is a little old and doesn’t have the best gas mileage so if you want to make my nationwide bus tour a success then donate gas money. I would also like to hire a personal driver because I don't like to drive too far and can’t see too well at night.

• Tell your mom about me- If all of my supporters told their mothers about me then they would begin to gossip and spread my campaign message naturally. When your mom tells her friends about my campaign they will naturally tell their family members. This creates a ripple effect which will have a profound impact on this campaign.

• Buy a billboard for me- My daughter, who is also my campaign manager, saw somewhere that billboards are good for advertising. I trust her, which means we need more billboards in more places.

• Put stickers on cats- The best way to spread our message is to put campaign stickers onto cats. Cats are known to explore neighborhoods and interact with a lot of people. Advertising through cats is effective in reaching a large number of people within specific neighborhoods.

Stray cats will be the most effective in this campaign since they are always outside. This also allows for homeless cats to have a job. Such a strategy can be carried over to other common household animals like dogs, birds, fish, and the family bear.

The Best Way You Can Help Ernie

The road to the White House will not be easy, but you can help by donating on my website to continue to momentum of our revolution. You can also take the official Ernie Flanders poll since the pollsters are not properly representing my support. With

increased donations and through our own

polling we will defeat the competition.

Thank you,

Ernie