Ernie’s 9 Step Plan to Fix America

Ernie has a plan. The United States has been in a downward spiral and it's time for proper leadership that stops national issues at the source. This campaign is running on an independent platform, shaped by the needs of the American people. Americans need to take back the country with a candidate who cares about their priorities. Ernie is the best candidate for the job.

Ernie fought for his constituents in Washington, serving three-terms as a Senator from Connecticut. In that time, Connecticut experienced unparalleled growth, boasting 0% unemployment, the lowest taxes in the nation, and land growth by annexing Rhode Island. Ernie fixed Connecticut and now he wants to fix the country. Ernie hopes to fix America with nine simple steps:

1. Healthcare

At the forefront of Ernie’s campaign is the issue of healthcare in America. Despite the passage of the Affordable Care Act in 2010, Americans still cite healthcare as their number one issue in the upcoming 2020 election.

The government must provide Americans with 100% healthcare coverage at zero cost. Americans should not live in fear of getting sick and not having medical coverage. Too many citizens do not seek medical care because of high costs and limited coverage, causing millions to go under-served. Ernie’s plan would cover all citizens of the United States, no questions asked.

In Ernie’s plan, everything is covered by health insurance. Ernie will force the large insurance corporations to cover all ailments for free, including preexisting conditions.

The greed of the pharmaceutical industry will also be tackled by Ernie. In his first 100 days in office, Ernie will slash Vitamin C supplement prices and orange juice prices in half. The greed of corporations have prevented millions of Americans from having cheap and reliable access to Vitamin C which is vital to a healthy population.

Simply put, America also needs more doctors. Ernie will tax colleges and universities until more doctors are made and a doctor quota is met.

Sick people and few doctors put a heavy strain on the healthcare infrastructure of the United States. That is why Ernie plans to pass a ban on being sick. Following the French example, this plan will effectively make sickness illegal.

Ernie also plans to prohibit death, making the act of dying illegal. All individuals who break this law will be fined.

2. Human Centered Capitalism

Capitalism has been the driving force of the American economy and has encouraged countless innovations, but America needs a system that works for everyone. Ernie’s goal is to rewrite capitalism in a way that works for people and refocuses the goals of the nation.

Human-Centered Capitalism is the practice of putting people before profits and measuring the economy in a way that serves humans rather than corporations. The economy should be purposed with serving human needs and profit should never be the number one goal.

Nations such as Bhutan already put this into practice, measuring Gross National Happiness (GNH) rather than Gross Domestic Product(GDP). Ernie wants to put undervalued people, activities, and things into the heart of capitalism.

3. Education

Education in America is reaching a crucial point as the college industrial complex saps Americans of their money, placing them in long-term debt at the price of education. Ernie’s plan calls for free college and full forgiveness of student debt. All citizens of the United States should have the fundamental right to an education at all levels.

College in America should be all inclusive, similar to the business model of Sandals. Housing, fees, meal plans, and other amenities should all be provided by the universities to allow students to focus on studying rather than worrying about debt. Government subsidies will be provided to pay for all these experiences.

4. Equality

The single most divisive factor between Americans is between those who can operate forklifts and those that cannot. Ensuring equality of all people is an important priority for Ernie which is why he promises to give every American a path to achieving a forklift operating license. Penalties for operating without a forklift license will also be lessened under Ernie’s plan.

Currently, forklift operating licenses can cost upwards of $200 which is a large price to pay for such a fundamental human right. Forklifts have been the pleasure of just a select few Americans, creating great rifts in our society. America needs a President who will make forklift licenses possible to obtain for all people.

5. Economy and Jobs

In addition to promoting Human Centered Capitalism, Ernie wants to revitalize the nation's economy. Taxes have long been a hindrance on economic growth which is why Ernie vows to abolish taxation of all forms. This plan also aims to dismantle all monetary systems to allow the American public to barter goods rather than be oppressed by money.

Bartering will allow all people to develop invaluable negotiation skills and promote an economy that is focused on goods, not money. In the job market, all workers will be paid with goods which they can use to barter. This will give the average person more value in the economy because not everyone will have the same items.

Regarding jobs, Ernie thinks that everyone should work and will ensure that there is a 0% unemployment rate in the United States. The federal government will hire old, retired, men and women to yell at teenagers until they get a job. This will ensure that all people can find employment or face incessant nagging.

6. Environment

It’s no secret that our planet is in danger. Ernie believes that the environment should be protected in three steps:

1. As a society, Americans should move all wildlife somewhere else. This collective action will allow animals to find a new home. This plan highlights the importance of an aggressive domestication program which moves at-risk animals into the homes of American citizens.

Animals that are at the highest risk of extinction, such as the red wolf or Florida panthers will be given priority. Other animals such as bears and sea turtles will also be given priority due to climate change.

2. Ernie cites the most important part of his plan is for everyone to just chill out. If more people just took a moment to calm down then there would be fewer greenhouse gases in the air, helping reverse global warming. Humans produce carbon dioxide which happens to be the largest contributor to greenhouse gas emissions according to the EPA.

Helping citizens calm down is no easy task, so Ernie will institute a mandatory “vibe-check” once daily. The “vibe check” will force Americans to check their vibe and adjust accordingly.

3. Finally, Ernie emphasizes that no one should litter. End of story. Litterers will face a minimum 20 year jail sentence under Ernie’s plan.

7. Corruption

As an experienced politician, Ernie knows that Washington is filled with corruption. Ernie prioritizes dismantling the government to fulfill only bare bones functions. This includes the end of political parties, the dissolution of Congress, and the disbandment of the Supreme Court.

In its place will be an Executive branch composed of a “one stop shop” similar to that of prominent universities. The government of the United States will be efficient and fulfilling only the most necessary needs of the American people.

8. Foreign Policy

Ernie is an old man, and that's why he believes that there should be no countries for old men. Ernie’s vision includes embracing the global community under one government which treats its citizens with universal respect, but Ernie accepts that this is not likely to happen. Instead, his plan cuts useless spending by terminating the Department of State which conducts unnecessary diplomatic functions.

In its place, Ernie will hold more parties at the White House hosting foreign leaders and diplomats. His belief is that if world leaders could vibe with each other more that many problems would be solved.

9. Election Reform: People, not PACs

Ernie will pass an executive order on his first day of office outlawing all Political Action Committees (PACs). As a result, political contributions will also be ended effectively taking money out of politics.

The final step of Ernie’s plan is to reform elections entirely by ending them. Not only is this a source of cost savings, it makes the functions of the United States easier. Ernie thinks that leaders are born, not elected. However, the antiquated system of the United States is inhibiting true leaders from emerging.

Conclusion

Ernie Flanders has a vision for America that makes the country work for everyone, including animals. Reinforced by his many years of experience, Ernie believes he is the best choice for America and that is why he is running for President. Tell Ernie your favorite policies or give your own policy suggestions in the comments.